I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
