The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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