I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
