You really coming over, don't trick.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I want to walk on stilts...naked
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
