super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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