hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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