The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
