I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
