They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
