I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
