ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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