I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
