Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
