Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
