Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
