let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
