she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
