He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
