She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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