Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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