I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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