I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
it was like having sex with a tree stump
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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