Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
