I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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