Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
