no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
