Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
