I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
