i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
