People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
