is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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