First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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