Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
