i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He shit in the fireplace
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
