But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
