is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
