My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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