i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
