you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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