Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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