We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
