that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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