What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just had sex on a roof
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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