Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
