I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
