I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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