If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I smell like Dick and happiness
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