the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
