i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We need to get me chipped asap
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
