You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
