so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The uberlube is also flammable
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize