This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
