Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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