i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
