You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
