I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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