My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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