We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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