Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
