We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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