I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
