Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize