Soap is not a condiment
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
